PhoneBoy Says

Half way through this cleansing process. At the moment, I find myself thinking about what I want to eat when I come off this cleanse. The first day, I will be drinking OJ. The second day, start the day with OJ then move onto vegetable soup broth--not canned stuff, but freshly made stuff. The third day, more OJ and eventually soup with the veggies. Then I should be able to eat normally.

But I do wonder about eating meat again. Not because I don't like it--are you kidding, I did Atkins, for crying out loud--but I wonder how I will ease back into eating it again. I know eating a bunch of it at once is a recipe for disaster. An old co-worker of mine actually burned a hole in his stomach by eating too much meat after not having had it for quite a long time. I don't think I'm anywhere near that length of time, but I am mindful of that incident. Smaller portions for a while for sure.

Tonight I drank senna tea. It should keep things moving along. Haven't needed any additional help. Afraid to try the salt water bath for the insides.

Despite not having eaten for more than 4 days, stuff is still moving out of my bowels--exactly what's suppose to happen. No senna tea today as I don't need/want that kind of help today. One pound lighter to boot.

Unlike some people, whom while on this cleanse are disgusted by the sight and smell of food, it doesn't bother me that much. Good thing, as I still have to feed the kids even if all I'm feeding myself is lemonade. I also had a chicken that I decided to thaw out before I got the crazy idea that I was going to cleanse myself. It was going to go bad unless I cooked it yesterday, which I did. Funny thing was, long after I finished cooking, putting away the chicken, and cleaning the crock pot, I could still smell the chicken in the hallway when first coming into it.

I'm also not experiencing any major "bad" or "down" feelings. I'm also not feeling "up" either, like what some people describe by this phase of the cleanse. I am very much on an even keel--moreso than usual, I think, which while not blockbuster, is very nice in it's own right.

Today, for Father's Day, I am going to trek over to the Evil Fry's (tm) in Renton. It's a bit like going to a buffet right now because while I can't eat food on this cleanse, I can't afford to spend money at Fry's either. But it's nice to look around and I'll probably come back with something small and/or something I can expense.

I'm not hungry so far today and feel pretty good. Had Senna tea both last night and this morning. No lemonade yet, but I plan to rectify that soon enough. Two more pounds off the body.

You'd think after not eating solid food for more than 72 hours there wouldn't be anything left in my bowels. You'd be wrong. Of course, that's the point of doing this.

I have noticed that the past few nights, I've been dreaming a lot more than I usually do. Maybe you always dream, but I don't usually remember doing so. I seem to sleep a little deeper too.

Today, it's Jaden's birthday party. Yes, his birthday proper isn't for another couple of weeks, but we're having it early to ensure attendance of more of his friends. Seems everyone runs away shortly after school is out, which happens this Wednesday. Off to get ready for the event…

Feel about the same as yesterday. I didn't do the senna tea this morning, though I had a weak cup before going to bed early last night. All the vacuuming and moving furniture about after the carpet cleaning folks really wiped me out! The scale showed me weighing two pounds less this morning, which is never a bad thing.

Grade A Dark Amber Maple Syrup makes the lemonade taste a bit different. I may have to use a little bit less of it than I was using the Grade B stuff.

My stomach is rumbling a bit, but I don't really feel hungry. If I am hungry, it's different than usual. Did notice my pants fitting better, about 4 pounds lost according to thescale, and the fact that when I speak loudly, my voice is "different."It's crackling or something. Not sure what that's about. I didn't take the senna tea this morning as I don't think my system needs that kind of help at the moment.

When I went out to buy stuff yesterday, I didn't buy enough lemons because, quite honestly, I had no idea how many it would take to make a day's worth of lemonade. I also thought the health food store was charging an arm and a leg for Grade B Maple Syrup, so I only bought a little. I also wasn't sure I was actually going to go through with it, so I was hedging my bets. Looks like I'm going through with it. My wife will go pick up what I need when she goes to the store today.

I also did some reading and discovered that what they used to call Grade B Maple Syrup is actually now called Grade A Dark Amber. That's easy to get at the store--I checked--and for a heck of a lot less money than what the health food store was charging!

She thinks the whole Master Cleanse thing is a bunch of hooey. It may, in fact, be. She's looking for the science behind it because, well, she needs that kind of proof. Rational, but then again science can't make up it's mind. Smoking cigarettes used to be considered good for you, and we know how that turned out. Same thing with Fen Phen, Vioxx, and countless other things science said was okay.

Anyway, she'll humor me for the 10 days or more that I'm drinking lemonade. Hope so as it means I'll be buying a heck of a lot of lemons and maple syrup. And running to the bathroom to pee. A lot. Explaining the not-eating to the kids should be fairly simple--I'm not hungry. Hopefully Jaden doesn't start asking too many questions or figure out that I'm "not hungry" for an extended period of time.

If today is any indication, I might want to lay off the senna tea. Let's just say it had the desired effect a little quicker than expected.

The spouse of one of my co-workers started doing this thing called The Master Cleanse. You can read a bit more about it here (warning: PDF link) and by Googling, of course. Basically, you drink a lemonade concoction for 10 days (or longer) and ease back into real food.

Yesterday, I was having a miserable day with my allergies. I took meds, which cleared up the sneezing but didn't really do much for my runny nose. I kind of pigged out on some stuff I probably shouldn't eat yesterday. I just generally felt wrong. Figured it was time to give my system a good rotor-rooter treatment.

I did not have any provisions for this diet, but couldn't really go anywhere until almost lunch time. So I drank water and ate nothing. When I could leave the premises, I bought some senna tea, some Grade B Maple Syrup, a bunch of lemons, and dug out the thermos jug. Had a cup of the tea when I got back home while I was mixing the lemonade. Think I put a little too much cayenne pepper in the mix, and I only put half as much maple syrup as they recommend, but it's pretty tasty stuff.

I will be documenting the process here for your amusement and horror. I will try and leave out the more grotesque descriptions of the various bodily excretions that are supposed to occur as a result of this. The only thing I feel right now is a mile headache. Not hungry per-se.

I wish this video on Gov. Bill Richardson's site was embeddable. Even so, go see it. It's funny. I'm sure it will show up on YouTube soon enough.