Dangling Threads

Over the past several weeks, I have been debating what, if anything, to do about the fact my father is aware of my presence online and has made at least one attempt to contact me recently. I discussed the issue with my wife, and while she was not exactly excited about the prospect of me reestablishing communication with my father, she did offer some good advice: understand what it is you want from him and don't have high expectations.

To be honest, I don't really know what I want. I guess there are a few questions I'd like answered, but they aren't really important questions. Things like:

  1. Why does my name have a silent E?
  2. Was one of my possible birth names really "Odin Thor" as my mother suggested once?
  3. Did grandpa really die a few years ago? I did some Googling and uncovered this fact. I wasn't close to him, and from what I hear, my father wasn't either.
  4. Where did my middle name Douglas come from?

There are several important questions I have for both of my parents that, quite frankly, I don't want to know the answers to. Even if I asked the questions, I don't think I'd get the answers I was looking for. I have come to terms to what happened to me growing up and don't really want to be an archeologist in my past anymore. I just want to take what I've learned and move forward.

Sometimes, it's best to leave those threads dangling.

Where Did That Line Go?

A problem that I continually face is knowing where my "work" ends and my "home" begins. It is an occupational hazard that comes with working at home for the past 8 years or more. Oh sure there is some physical separation between my office, where most work gets done, and the rest of the house. That helps to a degree. What doesn't help is the fact the "office" is accessible from a mobile phone--a phone that I constantly carry.

Now don't get me wrong, it is exceedingly handy to be able to do business from anywhere my mobile phone. My concern is that there is the potential to unduely impede on my "home" life, i.e. when I should be doing stuff that's not work related. It has, on occasion, happened to me.

At the end of the day, it's a choice to use those tools. Nobody "makes" you use those tools at an inappropriate time. It comes down to having the courage within yourself to draw that line and say "no, this isn't work time."

Even Law Enforcement Says Legalize It!

Thanks to Digg, I found out about the folks at Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. This group is a bunch of current and former law enforcement officials who want to see all drugs legalized. Their main argument is that the current "drug war" is similar to that of prohibition of the sale of alcohol in the US in the 1920s. It didn't solve the problem and, in fact, made things worse with all the organized crime that took place as a result. By making drugs legal, they say, we eliminate a large percentage of the related crime, we have the means to actually control the distribution of these substances, and can finally work on the real drug problem--namely the usage.

Have a look at both this promotional video by LEAP as well as this episode of Penn & Teller's BS and judge for yourself how effective the current "war on drugs" really is.

Back to School for Jaden

Today was the first day of first grade for Jaden. he got up at 6:30am this morning because he was excited and ready to go. That can't last :)

Anyway, as I'm finishing up work for the day, I can hear him downstairs getting in trouble for doing something to his sister. I guess school didn't take the fight out of him.

The End Of The Internet

Well I never thought I'd reach The End Of The Internet, but I did.

Carry That Weight

One problem I have struggled with much of my life is my weight. Over the past three years, I have made various efforts to lose weight with varying degrees of success. One challenge I have in this quest is that as a result of my dietary choices, my family eats very differently than I do.

Yesterday morning, my wife had an issue with me reading the ingredients on a box of brownies my wife was making for her and the kids. I hadn't even said anything about the ingredients, yet she freaked out because I have done so about other foods in the recent past. She thinks I'm passing judgement on the food she's eating.

In a sense, she's right, but I'm passing judgement for my own personal consumption. Whatever she wants to eat is her business. We agreed that if I wanted to read ingredients on food she was eating, I wouldn't do it in front of her.

This ended up being an extremely emotional issue for me, even though it was basically my wife's problem. I felt that because of my dietary choices, I am isolating myself from the rest of the family. Unless we eat out, we almost never eat together as a family. Part of this is because younger children will often eat differently than adults, but part of it is because my wife and I eat so differently. Cooking meals, when they happen, is rare.

I have a problem with food. I eat when I'm not hungry. I eat when I'm anxious (especially when travelling). I eat at plenty of times I shouldn't. I also have a difficult time resisting certain foods when they are in my presence. Some of those foods I serve to my kids. Some foods are flat-out hard to avoid because they are everywhere.

I'm struggling with this, and I need help. Part of the problem is all the conflicting information about what to eat, when to eat, how to prepare it, and so on. The diet industry has commercialized substantially. There seems to be a profit motive behind nearly every diet method out there in terms of merchandising. Also, there is a certain profit motive in keeping people unhealthy so they can be "treated" with drugs that likely are a cure worse than the "disease."

The only sensible advise I've received lately is to eat as much whole, unprocessed foods as possible. It makes sense because wide-spread obesity in humans is a relatively recent phoenomenon quite likely caused by eating food humans weren't designed to eat. It is increasingly difficult to find whole, unprocessed food.

I have to read labels carefully, even on supposedly natural food. Labels can proclaim "all natural" yet contain crap like high-fruitcose corn syrup, something clearly not natural. Hydrogenated oils, even partially-hydrogenated oils are another example of things that are everywhere and hard to avoid. The other sensible advise here is "if you read a label and don't know what an ingredient is, put it back."

Pay Attention to Cab/Limo Drivers

I got a lesson in this last night. The limo driver I had passed the on-ramp to Hwy 16 by a long shot. We were at about Fort Lewis when he thought to ask me. We then turned around to go back to Hwy 16, but the on-ramp was closed. I told him "this would normally be the right exit," and he decided to go through the barricades anyway. A surly State Trooper parked there gave the driver a ticket. We then had to find a way to get on Hwy 16. Fortunately, I knew the way, but the detour took some time.

Once we got on Hwy 16 an hour later than we should have, it was fairly smooth sailing. That extra hour of time meant I got home at 3am instea d of 2am.

Most of this would have been avoided had I paid attention and took a more active role in the process.

Lots and Lots of Pics of Medieval Times

I was a little trigger happy on the phone last night. No pictures of co-workers this evening, but plenty of pictures of knights and their activities.

Going to a Joust

This evening, we're heading over to Medieval Times. Looks like what my wife and I experienced at the Excalibur almost a decade ago. That was fun and with this particular band of merry men, it will be a blast. I'll try and post some pics from the experience.

More Pictures From Baltimore

Pictures from the outing with my co-workers in Baltimore.