Please vote for my shitty rendition of an even shittier pop song.

Please buy our shitty car. And these shitty cookies.

Subway. Eat Faux Fresh.

My wife and I have very different TV viewing habits. She watches it. I don't.

By the time I apply the kid friendly filter, there isn't jack shit to watch.

I am not a home screen whore.

Oh fantastic, they've switched over to the real shitty summer programming now.

Maybe I should move my blog to Tumblr so I can claim Yahoo bought it.

What the fuck is an Oxford Comma anyway?